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# Quote of the Day/Month - whatever ... I though of this on my way home from the office with my son and he loved it. So here it goes:

>If you continue in the direction of gravity, eventually, your gonna run into something!

 

# Tech Support Snafu

>One day while working at one of my former employers I was walking past our tech support area and overheard a co-worker explaining to someone how to get into <My Computer>. I paid no mind and continued off to talk to another co-worker about a project we had been working on. After a few minutes I passed by the support cubes once again and heard a  frustrated support tech still talking about getting into <My Computer>. I motioned to him and hunched my shoulders inquiring as to what was going on. He looked at me and shook his head in disgust. He then proceeded to put the user on speakerphone so that we could all get a taste of it.

tech>  "Ma'am, do  you see the picture of a monitor and keyboard?"
user>  "Oh yes! Well, I see a couple of them but nothing that say's my computer."

The voice of a grandma filled the room and I immediately cringed in horror LOL.

tech> "Ok ma'am well just double click on one of them and lets go from there."
user> "Well I clicked twice on one and it turned blue and moved a little."
tech> (after a deep breath) "You will need to click 2 times in quick succession."
user> "Oh my another screen popped up!"
tech> "Good. That is called a window. Now can you tell me what it says inside?"
user> "Well, it says C, D, dial-up networking..."
tech> (quick sigh of relief) "Great! That is where we need to be!"
user> "Oh ok. I thought you said <My Computer>. I did not realize that you wanted me to go into <Rebels Rule>." (Grandson had renamed <My Computer> to <Rebels Rule>)

At this point the support tech was banging his head on the desk while the rest of us went hysterical! Eventually the issue was corrected but I later found out that at first, the woman was searching around her computer desk when looking for <My Computer> on her "desktop"! Ahhh... End Users - gotta love em!

 

# STFU Server

>Awhile back I was having lunch with my friend Ron and other techies at lunch. Ron was griping about having to sit in a worthless meeting all morning ... go figure. Immediately I formulated a plan . He was about to have to build a new server for the company.  I suggested that he call it the STFU server. This server would merely need to have software installed such as Netsaint (now Nagios), http://www.nagios.org, that would contact his cell phone in the event of a problem. Whenever he had to go into another worthless meeting he could have the STFU server call him about an issue. In the middle of the meeting the phone would ring and he would be able to leave. Comment, "It appears that the STFU server is having a problem and I need to check it out!" I can hear the laughs from here! Frankly, I believe that this ploy can only be used a few times before management decides the system has too many problems and spends more illegitimate $ to fix an otherwise "priceless" machine :-)

 

# Language Barrier?

>A user of ours was having problems getting disconnected from their dialup connection after being on for only a few minutes. The user is Hispanic and speaks broken English. My co-worker suggested that she bring her "box portion of her computer, the tower" in and we would be happy to look at it. About an hour later the user shows up with the box her computer came in with nothing inside. So we looked at it and informed her that she would need to bring her computer in on her next visit since cardboard is unable to connect to the Internet!

 

# Wal-Mart Special

>One day while sitting in the office a nice senior citizen came in and wanted to sign up for a dial up account. She was so excited as she had just bought her first computer and couldn't wait to view the pictures of her newest grandchild. After creating her account and finishing up the paperwork, she requested that we set up her computer for the Internet. Her computer was in the car so she went down to retrieve it. Upon returning she handed us a box which contained a Brother typewriter with lcd screen. Holding back laughter as best possible, no one wanted to break the news to this poor woman. Finally, we told her that her typewriter would not connect to the Internet and that she would have to purchase an Internet capable system. Noticeably frustrated, she stormed out the door on her way back to Wal-Mart. I'm sure customer service got an earful about 5 minutes later!


 

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